I had just had my DD and the boys were 2 and 3. I was in the kitchen trying to get dinner ready before she woke up and while the boys were still occupied watching a movie. DH came up behind me, his desires very obvious, and said that he'd been "thinking about me". Thinking about me? All I'm thinking about is this gravy! Just gotta stir for a few more minutes. "And I was thinking that we could try to put the kids to bed early tonight," he continued, completely oblivious to my distracted state of mind. Is that the baby? Oh, she'll be alright for a few more minutes. Just three more minutes of stirring and dinner will be ready. "We could take a nice bubble bath together..." Everything's already on the table.... "and get some of that wine out that you like..." and I can just nurse her while we eat. Just one more....
Just then we heard the most ear-piercing scream which could only come from my 2yo. I dropped the wooden spoon and ran into the den. There my 2yo was lying on his belly, holding a little play car out away from him. His older brother apparently wanted it, because he was doing the "choke hold" (wait, how does a three year old even know how to do that?!) with on hand while reaching for the car with the other. Before I could react, my DD decided to join in the fun and she really started to wail! DH went directly to the boys, grabbing one under each arm and marched off to their room to discipline. I ran to my DD and picked her up, lovingly whispering in her ear that mama was here. I turned to walk over to see what was going on with the boys when.... is that smoke? What's burning... "THE GRAVY!!!" I ran into the kitchen and collapsed on the floor, DD looking up at me like I'd lost my mind.
DH came running after hearing me scream. "What? Why are you on the floor?" he asked, honestly confused. But all I could do was point. Over on the table was our family dog. He had taken the opportunity of our absence to get in all the food he could get. Dinner was ruined. "I'll go order pizza and then clean this up for you," DH offered. So I went and sat down on the couch and at least one person in our family was truly happy.
Later on when everyone was in bed and I was trying desperately to forget the day, my DH spooned up next to me and whispered "So?" After all that happened, we're still back in that kitchen with his manhood pressed up against me. Man he doesn't miss a beat. "Well, yeah, I'm exhausted, but I bet you're willing to get up with the baby twice tonight and then get up in the morning to feed the boys and get them dressed so that I can sleep in." I offered. "Yeah, ok. Another night then," he said back.
Sex in marriage? There's no time. There's no energy. So there's no sex.
Oh, well. They'll be out of the house soon enough. ;)